Why am I so weak?

Why does this happen? Why do I have such a good life? Why is it that when something minor happens in my life that I don’t like, I break down and just stop. I turn useless, I feel useless, I feel like the world is out to get me and I just feel so broken. Why? Other people struggle with things so much worse than what I have to deal with and they seem so strong about it. I’m so weak compared to them. They go through terrible things daily and they still are strong in the name of the Lord. I don’t understand. I want to have that faith and reliability with God. Why can’t I? Because I am weak.

I want strength, not built up by myself, not built up by other people… But built up from and with God. God is my strength, without him I would pretty much be dead. Matter of fact, I would be dead. Dead in my transgressions.

I understand that all of us go through different things and we all struggle, but why is it that I go through the smallest problems and feel the way I do? I’m sick of being this weak. I’m sick of acting strong. I’m sick of being sick and tired. Give me strength Lord. I can’t get strength anywhere else. (This was written 2016) ^

When life hits us hard, where are we going to look to? What are we going to rely on to make us ‘feel better’? Are we going to look to our friends? Are we going to look to Alcohol and partying? Are we going to look to the sin in the world? We’ve seen so many suicides of people that have everything. Money, fame, friends, family and everything the world can offer. Why do they suicide? One reason. They’re still empty, they still need something to fill their life with joy and love. God is the only thing that can do that. That’s why in times of struggle, in times of pain and suffering, I still rejoice. I thank God for putting me through the trials because I know that through everything, God will make me stronger and I will grow as a man. Yes, it’s hard to have this mentality, that’s why I encourage us to continue to talk to God, continue to learn more about him at all times. If we are always in communication with God, we won’t find it difficult to talk to him when we’re grieving and suffering. So please, I challenge you, stay in communication with God, look to God, pray for yourself, pray for others and when you do feel like life is going downhill. You will know that God is ALWAYS there. (This was written 2018) ^