My Friend's story

I grew up in a Christian home and became a Christian when I was young, by the grace of God. I’m so happy my heart was God’s from such an early age. After a few years, a few things happened and then the struggle started. So here is a bit of my story.

So, when I was young my father was really abusive to my mother, my siblings and I. I was always a Christian but I never really took it seriously as a child. All throughout my childhood, I lived in an abusive home, this made it hard to really take God seriously because I didn’t know any better. This physical and emotional abuse has scarred me. About half way through year 6 my friend asked me to go to his church’s ‘kids club’. I went, but I only went for the hangout mainly and that’s all it was to me. Just nothing more than a chance to hang with my friends and get away from home. Then I started going to the youth group of this church and I loved it. I felt super welcome and it was an awesome escape from home.

Eventually, in the first term of high school my parents got a divorce and to be honest, for me it wasn’t sad at all, it actually made me happy because all the fighting and abuse would stop. However, because of the abuse and everything, I had really bad anxiety and depression but this church and people at the church were so good that I didn’t care about life at home. My parents would still fight and stuff over the phone and they would use us to get at one another but like I said, I didn’t care. So it was about a year of peace for me but through all of this I was struggling with the anxiety and depression but I never let anyone know. But then my mum got remarried, and this is when the devil really started attacking me.

My mum started to be addicted to alcohol and my step dad was okay at the start but then they started fighting heaps. My mum became abusive to us kids and my dad still had anger issues. Whenever I would go to his house, I would get abused. But going to this church was an escape. I was learning a lot about the bible and God and stuff and I loved it but never quite took that next step of fully devoting my time and effort to God. I was a Christian, but not an active Christian. I would go to school and act like the world, but then after a few years of attending the youth I left for a while and came back. The youth had changed heaps and had heaps of new kids. It was full of love and it was like a family but I was still weak and available for attack from Satan and that’s what happened.

After a while, I had a relationship with another person from the youth that was built on lies, deceit, disobedience and just sin. It caused me to fall into sin and hurt my friend that asked me to come to the youth. I lied to my youth leaders and I hurt them. This relationship really took a toll and it almost broke and destroyed the youth. Then I left the youth to get away from what I thought was judgement. At this time, I was still close to this person and we were together but left the youth. Meanwhile my life at home was still just drunken abuse and physical fighting but I still just bottled everything up. So I left the church again and me and my partner were fully of the world. We didn’t care about God, we just wanted to be together. I was in a toxic relationship and home was toxic too. I was just being eaten alive by sin; fully falling to Satan, the world and my own flesh. I failed high school and didn’t care, I was up almost every night stopping my mum and step dad from bashing each other. This meant I’d go to school late and tired and get in trouble but I never cared. I was just cruising by doing my own thing then after year 12 I was homeless. My mum said if I couldn’t afford to live at home and pay her rent then I had to leave so I was kicked to the street for about 2 weeks. I eventually went into a ‘refuge for teens without homes’ and lived there for a year while in this refuge. I lost all my church friends for this girl and family was never there so I was alone and had no one. Eventually, things happened and I ended it with this girl.

After all this happened, I turned to drugs. I did drugs for a while trying to numb the pain of my childhood and losing everything. I was around people that would influence me poorly, I was super depressed and just hated myself. It got to the point where I wanted to commit suicide. I was just tossing and turning with this idea of going out clubbing and doing drugs. I hadn’t spoken to God in almost 2 years. I was lost. I was sitting in my room, I had no one. I had convinced myself I have nothing and I’m going to end my life. I went to my room, I was home alone in this refuge for 4 hours just sitting there crying, convincing myself to end my life. At this point I haven’t been to the church in almost 2 years and haven’t spoken to anyone from the church in a year. After 4 hours of just sitting and crying, I get a message from my friend. The friend who invited me to the church. The message said “I’m praying for you”. I saw the message and I just thought nothing of it. I was like “yeah okay cool” then about 10 minutes later another person from the church messaged me saying the exact same thing. I thought they must have had a prayer group and that I was a prayer point or something. Then 30 minutes later one of the church leaders messaged me saying the exact same thing.

So I asked if these 3 people planned to message me or pray for me. He said nope.

Then I knew God was talking to me.

I can’t even put into words how insane it is that 3 people I haven’t spoken to in over a year, all within an hour, messaged me saying they are praying for me. The suicidal thoughts immediately left me and I felt so happy. I was thinking that this could only be God. I was immediately filled with joy and I remembered how powerful God is and how much my He loves me. God had intervened and saved my life when I was at my lowest. I just sat there and worshipped God and prayed, thanking him for everything. After a while, I ended up going back to the church, the people I hurt and lied to were so accepting and loving. Iit humbled me so much. These people are so amazing and I’m so grateful to God for putting them in my life

So after a while, I decided to move back home. I had a stable job at the time and I thought moving home would be much better for me. I missed my younger siblings and it would’ve been cheaper just to pay rent and move back home, so I did. After a little while, I got some really bad news. I found out that my dad had been taking payments in my name; when I found this out and stopped it I was already around $5000 worth of debt.

Everything was fine at first. I would work, go to church, bible study and stuff however, during all of this, my mum and step dad were still abusive to mainly each other, but sometimes also us kids. After around a year I got let go from my job and I was living off savings for a while but then it got to a point where my family started saying “if you can’t pay then get out of this house”. I have barely any food and am at risk of being homeless again.

My family is moving houses and I can’t go with them. I really am looking for a new job so I can afford food and find somewhere to live. I’ve had a few close friends help me out along the way but it’s still hard knowing my family is moving and not allowing me to come. Through all of this, I’ve learnt over the years to just trust God and his plan. I know he has my best interest at heart, I have faith in him, I know he loves me, so I have hope. I know I’ll get through this. My God is bigger than any of my problems and all of this is just for me to one day give glory to God.

I fully fell away from God and he still thought of me in my worst moment. It’s crazy how much he loves us even when we’re spitting in his face. I still struggle with depression and anxiety but it’s okay because God loves me and he will never leave me. Every suffering I’ve been through has only made me stronger in the faith and closer to God. I’m thankful for every part of it. God is so amazing, his plans are way outside of our understanding and I’m so secure in him and thankful to him for everything. Even though I’m going through so much at the moment, I have the joy and hope that I am in God’s hands.