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Jonah's year of 2018

I thought I would end this year by writing about my whole year. This might turn out to be long so if you don’t want to read it that’s all good. It’s also very honest, please don’t think of me any less. :|

So, 2018. Probably my toughest year ever, but also one of the best. Throughout this whole year I have gone through some terrible times and some good times. I’m going to go through my year from the beginning (If I remember).

The beginning of this year was actually pretty good. I was just becoming a youth leader, putting in a lot of effort and was really in a good place. There were some things going on in the background but that wasn’t really my focus.

A few months go by, it’s now around April and this is where my year turns around for the worse. The stuff going on in the background was getting worse and worse and I lost my best friend. (They didn’t die, just things happened). When this happened, I didn’t want it to affect me that much so I was running and hiding from my feelings and emotions. But all these bottled up emotions came out later on in the year.

It’s finally June and everything just gets worse and worse. Every small thing I was struggling with and hiding from came up to light all at the same time. At this stage of my life, I felt useless, I had no job or anything. The only thing I had going on that I really loved was youth and whenever a week was bad or something went wrong, I blamed myself for all of it and got really really sad.

I felt like a disappointment to my family, not having a job, not driving, not having anything going for me. The fact that people kept telling me to do all these things like I wasn’t trying when I was trying but nothing was working out for me made me feel even more disappointment in myself. And of course, not just me losing my best friend since the age of 5, but all my friend issues that I had going on. I felt like every friendship I had, I destroyed and I just didn’t know how to truly be a good friend because all of the friendships I had went up in flames. So yeah this was all fun times.

All these feeling and thoughts kept getting worse and worse and I ended up destroying another one of the only friendships I had. At this stage I really felt like I couldn’t hold on anymore. I really loved this person so much and I felt like I threw it all away. All these feelings in such a short time really hurt me in so many ways that I never felt before. It was not pretty.

All of this happened for a long long time, for about 4-5 months feeling like everything was going absolutely terribly and nothing was going well for me. In September, I felt something that I never felt before. One of the friends that I actually destroyed showed me so much love. After everything I did to them they still showed me so much love and wanted to fix things. You can’t understand the feelings I had at this point. On that night, I felt the happiest I have ever been. It was honestly the best feeling. However, even though this all happened and I was all good with this person. It didn’t change everything else that was happening. I still had all these things going on and it still hurt so much. To be honest, some of the feelings are still with me now, definitely not as bad but still with me.

So yeah, all of this and more that I can’t really talk about was happening. And then November comes and we have Roge and Lauren's wedding. It was honestly the best wedding ever. It was full of roasting and entertainment, but mostly God was given so much glory. Was honestly so good. And a few days after the wedding, it was finally time to go on the mission trip we had planned. I don’t want to talk much about this, but here we go.

I really didn’t know what to expect, but if I did expect anything, this was 100x better. I loved this trip so much. Getting closer to some great boys, learning about different cultures, seeing God’s creation, building a house, meeting people that were just the best, and the best thing out of all of this, was seeing how people around the world were worshipping God. It’s crazy to think that we all worship one God, but we worship in such different ways. It’s honestly amazing. So yeah, on this mission trip I had the best time ever. Even though it was very tough to get through. I loved it so much and am dying to go back.

Anyways, coming back from this trip was very hard. So if I seemed different, I’m sorry. I was just trying to get back into Australia. Post holiday blues hit me hard.

So that is pretty much what happened in Jonah’s 2018. But you might be thinking, why did I say that it was one of the best? There are quite a few reasons.

First one, I want to give a massive shout out to all the youth, but mainly a girl named Patty. Through everything that was happening, Patty was always with me and showed me so much love and helped me so much. Honestly, if it wasn’t for Patty and the youth, I probably would’ve fallen deep into depression. I want to thank them so much for just being there for me. Even though you didn’t know what was going on most of the time. You guys helped me so much. I want to thank God for putting you guys in my life. It was honestly the best.

Second one, the amount of growth that I’ve done is insane. From all the suffering and pain to the mission trip, to friendships. It was all just so good for me to grow and become the man I am today. I’m so keen to go through more tough times if it means I continue to grow like the way I am now.

Third one, even though I was going through things. I still had so much joy. I wasn’t happy, but I had so much joy. It sounds weird, but this is what the love of God does for me. Just knowing that He is here and loves me so much just brings me so much joy. If you’re going through things and don’t know how to cope, there is one thing I can say to you. Go to God. He has everything you need and more. During this year I listened to a song and it said “God you don’t need me, but somehow you want me”. It’s so true. He doesn’t need us, but he loves us that much that he wants us somehow. Mind blowing.

At church today the worship leader told us to say 3 key highlights and 3 lowlights of this year. I gave it a bit of a thought and these were mine. Highlights : My friend showing me that much love Getting closer to youth/patty The mission trip Lowlights : Pretty much everything that happened this year

I know that all of this wasn’t as bad as it is compared to others, but something I learnt was that everyone goes through their own things. No matter how big or small. People are affected differently. So if you feel like you’re going through something small but you are struggling with it a lot. It’s ok. It’s normal.

I just want to encourage you all with something. Whenever you are going through something, always have God with you. He is the only thing that won’t ever let you down, even though sometimes it feels like it. We are literal trash, but he still loves us and cares for us.

Also, if you are going through something and you feel like you want to talk to someone, I will be here for all of you. I might not be the best with advice or whatever, but I’m still here.

I wanted to finish off with a cheeky new year resolution. Y’all can keep me accountable.

Firstly, I want to get a job and start saving money. The broke life is a tough life and I got future wife and kids to feed.

Secondly, I want to get fit again.

Thirdly, I really want to do less sinning and more reading and spending time with God.

Finally, I want to be a better human in everything. I want to have a heart that screams out God and people can see a mini Jesus when they look at me.

James 1:2-4 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Anyways, love you all. Thank you. Jonah Jeitani <3

Anyways, love you all. Thank you. Jonah Jeitani <3

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